The Wedding Post

The 2008 Best of....

2008-07-25T09:58:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more services that need a pat on the back. I've worked with all of them, and they are in my opinion the best in their respective industries. Check them out... they are sure to please!

Catering - Blue Nile Catering

Music/entertainment - Expressway Music NYC

Videography - LifeStream Video

Rings/Jewelery - Burmese Gems Inc.

Dance Instruction - Lotus Fine Arts

CLINK!

ONE LUCKY GIRL

2008-07-23T13:48:00.001-07:00

I have been less than impressed by flower girl dresses lately. For the most part, good taste has done away with the "mini-bride" look, but I'm still seeing dresses that are too grown up looking for a little girl. I just can't get over the strapless flower girl dress I saw in one store. I even went so far as to write one shop about the lack of appropriate choices they had. They wrote back with fancy polite words that boiled down to, "We'll stop making them when people stop buying them". Always willing to do my part, I'd like to offer up alternatives. How about this incredible dress from Smashing Darling vendor Georgia Eve? The cameo color would blend in perfectly with just about any wedding palette. I love the detailing on the skirt and the satin slip. It was all made with fabrics from Paris (oooo!).

If you need more than one dress or one in a different size, don't give up. Keep looking at the independent sellers. There are unique dresses out there.

Save the planet. While wedding planning.

2008-07-23T13:43:00.000-07:00

Here are a few quick tips for a little green wedding planning. They are pretty obvious, but sometimes simply overlooked.

1. Attend a bridal fair. At these fairs (or shows), you get to see a good number of vendors. You can talk to them face to face, ask questions, gather information, etc., meaning you save a little energy that you would otherwise be spending on your computer. (You’ll see lots of other fabulous uses your computer and the internet can play in planning in points 2-5.)

2. Collect as few brochures, hand outs, business cards (etc.) as possible. Help save those wonderful trees and just skip the photographer’s high gloss photo paper, three page hand out. A few minutes on the internet will likely give you the same information without using those resources.

3. Schedule appointments on the same day and in a smart logistical path. Instead of going to and from your house every time you have a vendor meeting, why not make a circle and get them all finished in one trip? Plus, you’ll use less gas which means more money for the wedding!

4. Do as much record keeping online or on your computer as possible. There is no need to print out your vendor contact list every time you add to it or discover a mistake. Just keep track with your computer!

5. Use your internet resources. Instead of rushing out and buying tons of books for ideas, tips, and inspiration, just look online! A favorite resource of ours? Wedding Blogs (of course!). But there are lots of other sites that can help track your information, give you ideas, and help you find what you’re looking for.

Best wishes in your green endeavors!

flowers fit for a queen

2008-07-23T11:57:00.000-07:00

After you have chosen your wedding colors you can start looking into flowers. There are so many different types of flowers to choose from you have to know where to start.

A good place to start is incorporating all your colors you have chosen into the flowers you choose. For example my wedding colors are red, black, ivory and silver, so my flowers should include these colors. It is up to you if you want to have more or less of certain colors. I decided that I wanted the majority of my flowers red and ivory. I ruled out the color pink for flowers because I feel with the color scheme we are after pink would clash. The next thing I did was start to research flowers.

There are many way to research flowers you can look online at different flower designs, you can look in magazines and books, or you can even drive to the flower store, just to get an idea of what you like. I did all three of theses activities. First I looked online and made a folder of all my favorite flower looks, making note of the flowers and accessories they had used to create different looks. I found out which flowers came in red and ivory and chose all of my favorite ones. Then I looked in a couple flower magazines and books to get some ideas. After I had an idea of what I liked I went to the flower store to see them in real form.

I have not made any final decisions on flowers yet, but I have a pretty good idea of what I like. I hope this information helps you when you are starting your flower planning adventure!

Writing Your Own Vows: Getting Going and Getting Through It

2008-07-16T08:57:00.000-07:00

I promise to Love, Honor and…huh? Some couples are finding that traditional wedding vows don’t accurately reflect their views about marriage or their feelings for their partner, so they are choosing to write their own. This is a wonderful way to personalize your ceremony, but it can also be an incredibly intimidating assignment. How do you begin to describe the depth of your feelings toward your beloved? My husband and I chose to write our entire wedding ceremony, including the vows, and even though I write for a living I found this undertaking particularly difficult. I have compiled a few suggestions that I hope will be helpful to those of you who have decided to tackle this challenging and immensely rewarding task.

Don’t procrastinate

Start working on your vows early, so you don’t feel rushed. You don’t want this to feel like just another wedding planning chore that stares stubbornly back at you from your ever-present “To-Do” list. This is the main substance of the ceremony, and it is the verbal declaration of what the two of you will bring to the marriage, and what you expect to get out of it. That being said, it’s always ok to bring a little levity to the situation if there’s something unique and personal that you want to add, that isn’t thoroughly mushy. Jennifer Aniston famously vowed to keep Brad Pitt in banana milkshakes for life…but this might not be the best example, since he decided that he preferred a different flavor after all.

Will it be an individual effort or a joint one?

Some brides and grooms love the idea of surprising each other on their wedding day with the vows they have written. Others want to work together so that they’re “on the same page” throughout the process. If you will write individually, you must decide if you will share your vows with one another before the big altar showdown. Some people (I was one of them) fear that saying and hearing the vows for the first time during your ceremony will cause such intense emotion that you might (gasp!) cry on your wedding day. Remember: It is a pretty momentous occasion, and it is absolutely ok to cry. Ladies, that’s what they make waterproof mascara for, and gentlemen, everyone loves it when the groom cries (awww). Some of us (my hand is raised here) seem to leak way more snot than tears when we weep, which is decidedly un-bridely, so we try to avoid scenarios where this will definitely happen in front of photographers. Whatever you decide, make sure you practice saying your own vows beforehand, ideally to another human being. It will get easier, and it will take a little bit of the edge off of your nerves. Know what else takes the edge off nicely before the ceremony? A tall glass of bubbly, wedding-day courage.

Lay down some ground rules

This is a good way to make sure that you’re starting on common ground, especially if you will be writing individually. For example, will you include any religious references in your vows? Will you follow the traditional (I, name, take you, name, to…you know the routine) format, or make it entirely unique? By getting the basics straight before you begin, you can make sure that neither of you is unpleasantly surprised by either the insertion or omission of something substantial.

Getting started…

Now that you’ve gotten ready to pour your heart out, how do you begin? Try thinking about the following questions: What are two or three of the most endearing qualities in your partner? When did you know that you were in love, or that you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together? How have you grown since being in the relationship? How do you see your partnership changing over time, and how will it stay the same? This brain food should help get some ideas onto the page, and also give those tear ducts a workout!

Keep it brief

If you think you might get nervous during delivery, you don’t want to be reciting a 30-minute monologue expounding the depth of your love. A minute is plenty – especially if your words pack a punch. Also, don’t be afraid to read from a written copy (have your officiant or an attendant hold it until it’s your turn to speak) of your vows. Trying to memorize them can further rattle your nerves, and it’s not necessary unless you feel really strongly about it. Finally, be sure to look at each other when you’re saying your vows. That’s who you wrote them for!

Don’t worry if you flub your lines

Seriously, this is no big deal if it happens during the big moment; you can go back and say the botched part again, or just keep going... the sentiment is the same. In some cases, it can create a memorable wedding moment! My parents wrote their own vows, and my dad is infamous among his friends and family for vowing to “compete with”, rather than “complete” my mom for the rest of their lives. He was so nervous at the time that he didn’t notice, and they’re still happily competing with one another after 35 years.

Get Your Wedding in the New York Post

2008-07-15T16:11:00.000-07:00

Hey brides and grooms, check it. Having your wedding covered in the New York Post is no longer limited to celebrity-nuptialites (don't bother looking that up in the dictionary). Even better, you don't need a Trump-sized wedding budget to let New York hear all about it. That's right, all it takes is a little creativity to spin your wedding details into something the readers of one of New York City's top dailies will gush over.

Seriously, the New York Post is looking for wedding details from local brides and grooms to print (for free) in its Sunday Edition. Whether you are getting married, or have just returned from your honeymoon, you don't need to be a modern day Woodward or Bernstein to get your story splashed in newsprint (though I'm pretty sure neither ever wrote wedding columns). Just submit whatever pertinent information you wish to share to the Post and, if space is available, a reporter will contact you to help put the final touches on your submission.

What have you got to lose? Unless there's a reason you are hiding from the general public, what better way to generate some buzz than having a little write-up in the Post. Who knows, maybe your submission will spawn some sort of new über-trend in weddings! Oh, and think about what Mom will say!

For more information, visit http://www.nypost.com/entertainment/weddings
or call (212) 930-8022.

An Intro to Hawaiian Wedding Traditions

2008-07-15T16:08:00.000-07:00

If you like the idea of getting lei’d at the beginning of your wedding ceremony, then a Hawaiian wedding may be right up your alley! Aside from providing infinite opportunities to make punny references to the word “lei,” there are many wonderful reasons to incorporate Hawaiian wedding customs into your ceremony, whether you’re getting married on the beach in Maui or in a Presbyterian church in Cleveland. Central to the Hawaiian culture is theAloha Spirit, which can be loosely defined as a commitment to treat oneself and others with kindness, respect and love.

After having lived in the Hawaiian Islands for some time, I can tell you that the Hawaiian people as a whole truly embody these sentiments, which makes the islands a magical and romantic place to celebrate your love. The pristine beaches and awe-inspiring sunsets don’t hurt, either, but the price tag can be hefty. (That’s why I got married in Montana, land of the discount all-you-can-eat meat lovers wedding buffet. “If it had a face it will be on your plate” is the state motto, I think.) But I digress.

Here is a quick guide to some traditional Hawaiian wedding customs that will lend meaning and originality to your ceremony:

Flowers
The traditional Hawaiian flower lei, signifies love and respect. They are worn by the bride and groom as well as members of the wedding party. Usually there is a lei exchange between bride and groom at the beginning of the ceremony, along with an explanation of its significance. Like a wedding ring, the lei is an unbroken circle that represents your eternal commitment and devotion to one another. The beauty of each individual flower is not lost when it becomes a part of the lei, but is enhanced because of the strength of its bond. Additionally, the bride often wears a garland of flowers in her hair, rather than a veil.

Attire
In traditional Hawaiian weddings, both the bride and groom wear all white, and the groom wears a colored sash around his waist. It is also common these days for the groom and groomsmen to wear aloha shirts with light colored pants; while this is not traditional protocol, it is certainly acceptable and festive island attire. Let’s not lean too far in the vacation-wear direction, though: Ladies, while island style is casual, I recommend waiting at least until the reception gets going to don the coconut bras and grass skirts.

Music
The Hawaiian Wedding Song, Ke Kali Nei Au, is usually played during the ceremony, although it would work nicely as the first dance at your reception as well. It was originally written in Hawaiian in1926 by Charles King, and has been translated into English and covered by several artists; most notably Elvis Presley in the movie, Blue Hawaii.

Rings & Rings Blessing
Native to the Big Island of Hawaii, the Koa wood and Ti leaf ring blessing has a lovely meaning, and is beautiful in its simplicity. Koa is a treasured and valuable hardwood that represents integrity and strength, which are foundational qualities of a marriage. The Ti leaf represents prosperity, health and blessing of body, mind and spirit. The officiant begins by dipping a Koa wood bowl into a body of water. The leaf is dipped into the bowl, and the water is sprinkled three times over the rings while the following chant is recited: “Ei-Ah Eha-No. Ka Malohia Oh-Na-Lani. Mea A-Ku A-Pau,” means: “May peace from above rest upon you and remain with you now and forever.”

The water signifies two things: First, washing back into the ocean, symbolically, any hindrance to your relationship. Secondly, it represents a brand new beginning as husband and wife.

Ti Leaf and Lava Rock Ceremony
This is another significant and beautiful part of the traditional Hawaiian wedding. The lava rock is symbolic of the moment you made a lifetime commitment to one another. It is wrapped in a Ti leaf and left at the ceremony cite as an offering, prayer and blessing which remains steadfast at the place of your marriage, marking the birth of your union, while your rings are a symbol of that commitment that travel with you wherever you go.

Remembering Deceased Family Members
When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we had trouble figuring out how best to honor the memory of family members who were no longer with us. I think that this is a lovely, and subtle, way to pay tribute. The Hawaiians contend that when the wind stirs at a wedding, it is the presence of their Ohana (family) who are physically absent but surround you at this moment with their love, support and blessing. This draws attention to the dearly departed with its explanation, and can serve as a pleasant and casual reminder throughout the ceremony. This method is most prudent if you’re having an outdoor ceremony or using a temperamental fan.

The Aloha Spirit essentially begins from within, and is one tradition that can be captured whether your special day is going to take place in Hawaii or on the mainland.

The Shy Guy Syndrome

2008-07-15T16:07:00.001-07:00

Having been to as many weddings as I have, there is nothing that pains me more than spotting Mr. Shy Guy Groom. What is most unfortunate is the outward perception a groom's shyness can give to the guests. I know I have been guilty of thinking, "Jeez, poor fella, here's supposed to be the happiest day of his life and he looks like he's shopping for bras the day after Thanksgiving."

Come on, come clean, some of you brides-to-be out there are marrying this type of elusive creature - the anti-social soul mate. Don't get me wrong; shyness can be a very endearing trait. Many of us would be blessed to have the ability to dial down our personalities (guilty) every now and then. It's just that in talking with brides, I always get a lot of comments and questions concerning how to get their man to break out of his silent shell - especially during the wedding reception. I usually have three tried and true tips that I share with them, and I'm very happy to pass these along to you:

1. Introductions

How often have you and your fiancée been in a social setting and you find yourself merrily chatting away to some old friend or relative, only to find that your significant other has sulked away to some corner of the room, pretending to look extremely interested in the floral pattern of some god-awful wallpaper? Try this next time: INTRODUCE HIM - make his name the first words out of your mouth. One of the extremely painful side effects of shyness is the complete inability to tell some stranger your name. I can almost guaranty that if you take the time at your wedding - or more likely your wedding reception - to introduce your hubby to all of those strange relatives on your mother's side, Mr. Right will do no wrong.

2. Space

Do yourself and your future husband a favor. Under no circumstances ask him "Are you O.K.? Why aren't you talking to anybody?" You'll only end up compounding his shyness. Instead, you'll be better served by just giving him a hug, or better yet, a nice random kiss. Give him a little hint of what's to come later in the night . . .and say goodbye Mr. Shy Guy.

3. Spirits

No, I’m not talking about conjuring up Casper to help your groom navigate the social waters of your wedding events. Thus is a much simpler, albeit, tricky tip - and most certainly not a politically correct one - but it does work. If hubby refuses to come out of his shell, you may have to resort to more drastic measures. Getting a few belts of whiskey in him could unleash his inner gregarious self. The only thing you want to stay away from is giving your man too much to drink - instead of Mr. Shy Guy, you are liable to end up with Mr. I Just Puked On Your Father-In-Law's Trousers. Makes for a good story ten years down the line . . . but that's about it.

So, there ya' go, hopefully a couple of quick tips to help you (and your groom) have the best wedding experience as possible.

YMCA? The DJ decides

2008-07-15T15:50:00.000-07:00

I'is a good idea to decide beforehand what kind of personality you want your DJ to assume. Do you want a traditional wedding personality who cracks jokes and talks in between most songs? Or do you want someone who smoothly runs the events of the reception without asserting his personality over the music? When you interview your DJ ask questions to aid in determining what kind of MC he will be. Hiring a DJ can make or break the atmosphere and flow of your reception so it is important for you to know exactly what style of DJ you are looking for.

Fireworks!

2008-07-15T15:44:00.000-07:00

My special day was just over a month ago now and I had a great time! The day was absolutely perfect, all of my friends and family were there celebrating and having a good time; i couldnt of asked for any more! A great little addition to the reception was wedding day fireworks! They bought a great atmosphere to the event and were really beautiful!

Here is a great website where you can get hold of some great fireworks to make your day that little bit more special than it already is!

http://www.selstarfireworks.co.uk

The 2008 Best of....

2008-07-15T13:20:00.000-07:00

It's time again for me to let everyone out there know about some really great services. These guys are consistently rising to the occasion and always end up with happy clients.

If you have a service that you would recommend, please let me know!

photo - Chris Leary wedding & portrait photography. www.chrislearyweddings.com

music/entertainment - Hot House. www.hothouseband.com

misc. services - Durant's Tents & Events. www.durantstents.com

transportation - Eclipse limousine. www.ecplipselimousine.com

event planning - Joseph Todd Events. www.josephtoddevents.com

flowers - Anne Bruno. www. annebruno.com

more to come...

How Do You Let Guests Know?

2008-07-15T11:55:00.000-07:00

Some guests might ask the members of the bridal party and your immediate family for your registry information. The easiest thing for these people to reply is "They're registered at WeddingGeeGaws, but I also know they're saving for a down payment on a house." Hopefully, if you know someone well enough to have them in your wedding party, you can be honest with them about your hopes for wedding gifts.

Cheers!

What is the proper way to ask for cash gifts?

2008-07-10T10:23:00.000-07:00

As far as etiquette goes, there is no proper or easy way to ask for cash gifts. Firstly, gifts are not mandatory and by requesting "cash only" you are being presumptuous. Instead of stating your request in any type of invitation, have family and friends spread the word by mouth.

Cheers!

Ms. Planner

Stress, Out! Move Your Bridal Booty!

2008-06-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

I'm sure by now you've heard about the benefits of exercise. I guess that's kind of like asking if you've heard about the health risks of smoking. Anyway, exercise has a TON of health benefits including stress reduction! So when you're fretting over the seating chart and wondering who'll get stuck sitting next to Uncle Joe, well, I suggest you drop what you're doing and get your bridal butt moving!

I talked to the very distinguished, intelligent, and handsome health expert, Dr. Alex Kraft(who also happens to be my husband and would be happy to help you formulate your very own health regimen if you live in the Seattle area, btw) to get the scoop on how exercise can help lower your wedding planning stress.

According to Dr. Kraft, exercise decreases Cortisol levels in the body-which is a good thing apparently-because when we're chronically stressed (anything over a couple of hours) we produce a low level of Cortisol, which makes us feel anxious and agitated.

"In the wild, animals get stressed if they're being chased or about to get eaten. Their natural instinct is to run away. The act of running actually helps them process the stress hormone and in this case it's a good thing--it's needed for survival. But the difference between acute stress in animals and chronic stress in humans is that we humans don't get that same opportunity to run our stress off, so the stress hormone builds up and causes long-term health effects" said my hunky husband, er, I mean Dr. Kraft. Isn't he so smart?

Aside from lowering cortisol levels, Dr. Kraft also noted that exercising produces endorphins--the body's natural pain killers, mood enhancers, and anti-depressants (sounds fun, eh?). This is why exercising makes us feel so good!

2008-04-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

Centerpieces made simple

2008-03-22T13:39:00.000-07:00

As everyone knows, the centerpiece is the jewel of the well set table.

There are many ways to create a stunning centerpiece, from a candle bowl with floating candles surrounded by rose petals, glass shapes, flowers, or anything that will match your theme or decor. Floating candles come in so many different colors, styles and sizes, it is easy to create a whole theme around them. Our antique green glass bowl pictured at left adds an upscale look to your table. You can also make your own centerpiece bowl out of a pumpkin, watermelon or any other large gourd - just scoop out the insides, fill with water and place floating candles in the center. This idea will work well for any season, any event and any theme. Candle-Boutique.com is a great place to shop for glass bowls that can be reused many many times.

Glass Stemware comes in different sizes, different heights and colors and may be used to add height to the center of the table, or as a focal point on a side table. You may use real flowers, silk flower or candle rings which are designed to hold glass stemware. Candle-Boutique.com carries all types of glassware and floral arrangements (many of which are not even on our website).so your centerpiece will truly reflect your event's theme.

Don't Forget the Honeymoon

2008-03-21T22:14:00.000-07:00

The wedding is for your family and friends, but the honeymoon is just for you. It’s a time to relax and reflect, but most of all enjoy each other. Don't forget to visit the Honeymoon Travels catagory on Bridesclub.com for information on vendors that can help you with planning your honeymoon.

Here are some things to consider:

Decide on a Honeymoon Budget:

You may have already decided this when planning your wedding budget. If not, sit down and do this before you decide anything else. Figure out if you have any frequent flier miles or hotel miles that can be used towards your trip. Consider putting all of the wedding expenses on a credit card that earns frequent flier miles for your honeymoon. (Be sure to pay it off every month – you don’t want to start a new marriage with a ton of new debt.)

Decide When to Go and For How Long:

First, figure out how many vacation days you have accrued, and how many of them you’ll need before the wedding for last minute planning. (It’s not uncommon for brides to take a week off, and grooms to take a couple of days.) Do you want to leave the morning after your wedding? Another option, for those who don’t have a lot of vacation days, is to take a weekend “mini-moon” after the wedding, and then take a long second honeymoon on your first anniversary.

Decide Where to Go on Your Honeymoon

Each of you should take a few minutes to separately write down what you envision doing on your honeymoon. Do you want somewhere warm or cold? Do you want to go someplace far away and new or someplace close to home? Do you want a resort where there will be other honeymooners to socialize with, or someplace secluded where it will just be the two of you? Do you want to be in a city with museums, restaurants and nightlife or, do you want there to be lots of athletic activities available? Perhaps you’ll just want to spend a lot of time in the room! Once each of you has your list, compare. Where there are differences, see if there’s one place that might have the best of both worlds.

Learn More about Where You’re Going:

It’s never too early to get excited. As soon as you’ve picked a spot, buy a travel book, so you can read about all there is to do and see.

Arrange for Passports and Visas, if Necessary. Make Sure Your Driver’s License is Up to Date.

These pesky little details can take time and therefore are one of the first things you should do, once you know where you are going.

Joint Bachelor/Bachelorette Party?

2007-09-04T22:04:00.000-07:00

These days, there is a growing trend toward having combined Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties instead of celebrating separately. Hey - the more the merrier, right? For some, this provides an alternative to the drunken debauchery of traditional stag nights. For others, there is just as much debauchery (if not more) when the sexes join forces for a night on the town. Here is a quick rundown of the Who/What/When/Where/Why of joint Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties:

Who?
The entire wedding party should be invited, plus any other close friends or family members that you want to join the fun. This can be a terrific celebration to open up to a lot of different people, some of whom may not be included in other wedding events. On the other hand, you may want a more intimate gathering, involving only a few of your closest friends. There are no rules, so you and your groom decide what type of bash will suit you best. There is a good chance that members of your wedding party will want to organize the festivities for you (traditionally, the Best Man and Maid of Honor take on this duty, but that's certainly flexible), in which case you should let them…just make sure they know what you're hoping for. This will help alleviate some of your responsibilities, which will be a welcome treat during this busy time!

What?
What exactly do you do at a joint Bachelor/Bachelorette Party, you ask? Well, the united nature of this adventure means that a night of chugging beer at the nudie bar is out (or maybe not), and a relaxing afternoon of being pampered at the spa is a no-go (again, not necessarily). The point here is that you can choose to do anything that you want. A couple of things that you may want to think about:

You could make the theme of the main event have to do with the two of you as a couple. Involve the group in something that you enjoy doing as a twosome such as fishing, cooking, playing pool, eating dim sum, going to the beach…whatever floats your boat that would make for a fun group activity.
Consider teaming up for Guys v. Girls games to get everyone involved and mingling with one another. There's nothing like a little competition (fueled by a glass of champagne or two, perhaps) to draw even the most timid partygoers out of their shells! One great starter idea is the 'Newlywed Game' for which you have a couple of your closest friends or family members devise trivia questions about your history as a couple. Whichever team answers the most questions correctly wins a highly coveted prize such as a round of drinks from the losing team.
Novelty is a great conversation starter. Think about having everyone participate in a new activity as a group, such as a Salsa dancing class or a Thai cooking lesson. Be creative!

When?
This really depends on the proximity of your guests. If most people live nearby, it may be preferable to have the party well in advance of the big day. This way, you will avoid the lasting effects of a great evening out (otherwise known as hangovers and overtiredness) from affecting wedding guests - and most importantly, you and your fiancé - during the official wedding events. However, if many of your friends and family members are traveling to be with you for your big day, don't ask them to do it twice. You can plan for the party to occur just a couple of days before the wedding, although if you plan for a late night it is a good idea to leave as large a time gap as possible between this soiree and your other engagements.

Where?
While some couples choose to take an elaborate weekend away to Vegas, the beach or somewhere equally indulgent, it is important to consider how much of a financial hit you are asking your pals to take on your behalf. Chances are, they will spend a pretty penny to travel to your wedding if they're coming from out of town, not to mention the getups that the wedding party will have to spring for, as well as gifts, etc. Unless you're certain that an extended getaway won't require anyone to spend an uncomfortable amount of dough, it is probably a good idea to limit the merriment to one day or evening in your area.

Why?
Why not? Many couples share mutual friends, and would miss the company of their buddies of the opposite sex on their big night out. Also, you may simply want to have your other half with you on what will surely be a memorable occasion! If you're torn between wanting some time with the ladies (and for him with his guys) and wanting to share the event with your groom-to-be, in this case you can have your cake and eat it too! You can split the evening in two parts, either beginning or ending with a joint party. Remember: You're calling the shots (and maybe drinking a few, too), so have fun!

10 Generic Wedding Gifts to Avoid at All Costs

2007-06-05T20:52:00.000-07:00

One of the most symbolic elements of weddings, right up there with cutting the cake and strolling down the aisle, is the giving of wedding gifts. However, many guests fail in this department. Thanks to Hollywood and movies, we have painted a picture of what an acceptable wedding gift is and few people are brave enough to wander off of that path. The result is a new bride and groom inundated with household appliances and doo-dads they don't really need, or, if they do need them, they receive more than one. If you want to avoid this generic gift giving trap, read this article and avoid these 10 gifts like the plague!

1) Coffee Makers
Mention the words "wedding gift" in a crowded room and most people will instantly think of this. That alone should be a tip-off to not give a coffee maker to a new couple. These days more and more couples are waiting to get married. By the time they do, they most likely already live together and this household appliance was already taken care of long ago.

2) Toasters
Ditto for toasters. Not only did the bride or groom's parents already buy them one, they most likely already own one. Buying generic household appliances as wedding gifts also just screams "I put no real thought or effort into this." It advertises the fact that you stayed on the safe side and took that common path. If this isn't the message you want to send with your gift, avoid all appliances.

3) Picture Frames
It's easy to make this mistake. Many guests think "Hmm, wedding and honeymoon pictures. Why not get them a frame to put them all in?" It sounds logical, but unfortunately, almost every other guest is probably thinking the exact same thing. Plus, picture frames are not very hard to find. It's very likely that the bride and groom already have some, most likely received as gifts from other guests. For this reason, don't buy them picture frames unless you know they truly need or want one. If you really think the idea of picture frames would fly with this particular couple, consider giving them with a picture of your friendship or of them early in their relationship already in it.

4) Engraved Wine Glasses
This seems original, thoughtful, and you might wonder why it's on this list. However, a bride we interviewed for this article (who chose to remain anonymous) told us a story from her wedding day. As it turned out, she received these from multiple guests, and remembers thinking "Geez, how many more sets of wine glasses with our names and anniversary are we going to get? Enough is enough!" Engraved wine glasses are also something brides and grooms often already have for use at their wedding reception.

5) Fruit Baskets
Next on the generic wedding gifts list is the proverbial fruit basket. This too seems like a nice safe gift until you ask yourself, "Would I really want a basket of apples, oranges, and fruits I could easily get at the supermarket?" If the answer is no, it's probably no for the bride and groom, too. Besides, as we've mentioned - someone else probably already got them one. Or two.

6) Anything you carry to the reception itself
It is apparently considered poor form to bring your wedding gift directly to the wedding or ceremony. The general consensus seems to be that mailing it or giving it shortly before or after the wedding is the best way to go. Bringing it to the ceremony makes the atmosphere seem like that of a birthday party, which it clearly isn't. Sadly, many, many guests still do this. So don't be one of them! If you have no other option other than bringing your gift to the reception, deliver it to the table for gifts or to a member of the wedding party first thing.

7) Bathroom Mats
Nothing signals the beginning of a yawning snoozefest like bathroom mats. A general rule you should adopt is to assume that the couple probably has all the generic household items they will need for the foreseeable future. Items like this are also a matter of personal preference. They will probably want to decide for themselves what colors, sizes, etc. to go with their home decor. So just avoid buying them, and you should be in the clear!

8) Candle Holders
Let's face it - candlelit dinners are very nice and romantic, but not every couple feels the same. Therefore, this seemingly safe gift might actually be consigned to the "ugh, I knew someone would buy us this" pile! Clearly, this isn't what you are going for, so try and avoid this one unless you know for certain that the couple enjoys using candles in their interior decorating.

9) Gift Cards to "Borderline" Restaurants
Restaurant gift cards are fine - IF they are for a classy, upscale restaurant befitting of a new bride and groom. If this sounds like a gift you want to give, go ahead, but try to avoid "borderline" locations. These are restaurants that seem classy, and may be perfectly fine for Saturday nights out with friends, but really aren't the kind of place you want to give cards to as wedding gifts. Places like Chilis, Applebees, and TGI Fridays come to mind. As a rule of thumb, don’t give gift cards to restaurants that you feel you could go to in casual attire.

10) Scrapbooks
Finally, a perennial generic wedding gift is the average, garden variety "do it yourself" scrapbook. The idea is that the bride and groom can spend idle nights on their honeymoon putting pictures into it and creating a lasting record of their memories. It sounds nice, and may actually work with some couples, but you shouldn't count on it. Other guests will probably give them one and it's another one of those gifts that really just advertises how little thought you put into the matter.

In the end, the goal is to give something that makes the bride and groom think of you when they see or use it. So don’t give a gift just because it’s what is expected. Give out of your genuine care for this newly married couple.

How To Handle Conflict Between Bridesmaids

2007-04-25T19:54:00.000-07:00

There’s nothing like choosing a bridesmaid’s dress to bring about a catfight between otherwise friendly gals. There are a number of other issues of monumental importance to contend with during the wedding planning process, all of which will eventually lead to the same outcome: Conflict between bridesmaids, which will require your inner bridezilla to emerge in order to restore order. Nobody wants that, and in fact it is the job of the bridesmaids to do what they can to help the wedding preparations go as smoothly as possible for the bride so that she is able to enjoy the journey up to and through her big day. In other words, bridesmaids, simmer down and get along…or at least pretend to! Here are some tips to help avoid and alleviate tension between attendants.

Plan Ahead When Choosing Your Bridesmaids
The bride should definitely take temperament and history into account when choosing her wedding party. If two of your leading ladies are alpha females who won’t back down, or have had trouble getting along in the past, chances are there might be some discord over duties if they’re both involved. If you’re faced with this dilemma, the safest rule of thumb is that blood is thicker than water; meaning that if your sister doesn’t get along with your college roommate, your sister would take priority for a spot in your lineup. However, there are often extenuating circumstances and friends who act more like family than your closest relatives do, so you should definitely take your individual situation into account and remember: IT’S YOUR DAY, so ultimately you must make the choice that you feel most comfortable with, and nobody should second guess your decision. If you feel badly about leaving somebody out of your wedding party, consider asking them to perform another important duty such as cutting the cake, attending to the guest book, or convincing dear old Dad to show off his funky chicken skills on the dance floor (not as traditional, but definitely as memorable as the cake cutting!).

Maid of Honor is allowed to Pull Rank
If there is a dispute between bridesmaids and it includes the Maid of Honor, she is allowed the final say in any wedding or party planning decisions. That’s right, if Betty Lou Bridesmaid argues that the Bachelorette Party stripper should have hair on his chest and sport a porno moustache, while Molly McMaid of Honor believes that any respectable stripper should be waxed and oiled, then the bride should definitely enjoy some hair-free, glistening adult entertainment during her soiree. End of discussion. The other side of this decree is that with the rank comes responsibility. The Maid of Honor is ultimately in charge of the planning and execution of all things bridesmaid, and is also the bride’s last line of defense against planning-induced insanity. Therefore, her duties need to be taken seriously and performed with care.

The Squeaky Wheel Gets Her Own Road
If you know in advance that one attendant does not play well with others, and you feel as if she must be included in your wedding party (generally this should only be the case if she’s close family or has saved your life in combat), it might save everyone a lot of headaches if she is given individual responsibilities that do not require her to work with the group. For example, she might be asked to be in charge of Bridal Shower or Bachelorette Party invitations after important details such as place, time, theme and quantity of stripper hair have already been decided upon.

Keep it in perspective
At the end of the day, it is important to remember that the primary job of all of the bridesmaids is above all to make the journey up to and through the big day smooth, memorable and enjoyable for the bride. Her attendants should demonstrate their love for her by treating one another with fairness and respect, and trying to resolve differences without getting her involved. The less she knows about conflict between bridesmaids the better, so if there’s going to be a catfight try to keep the hissing down. Rawr!

Tips for Planning a Destination Wedding

2007-04-07T11:50:00.000-07:00

There are many reasons you may be thinking about planning your wedding outside of the region where you live. There are some couples who love to travel and would like to share this passion with their guests. Some couples have visited a region and fell in love with it, while other couples want a smaller wedding. No matter what your reason, destination weddings are becoming increasingly popular, but there are some things to think about before taking your wedding on the road.

First, realize that you give up much of the control when you plan a destination wedding. Depending upon the location of the wedding, you might not even visit the wedding site prior to the big weekend. You will need to depend on your local and regional wedding planners to make your dream day come true. Sometimes this is difficult for brides. If it’s difficult, a closer venue might work better for you.

Second, you’ll need to find a location. Destination weddings do not necessarily have to be held in the Islands, in Europe or in Fiji. The United States has some fabulous locations to plan your long distance affair; such as, Santa Barbara, Lake Tahoe, Nantucket, Martha’s Vineyard, Cumberland Island, and Anchorage just to name a few.

Third, consider your “planning team.” Destination weddings require you to communicate effectively with a planner in the location where you are getting married. While you will be working closely with the wedding planner at the hotel or resort, you may also want to consider getting a wedding planner in your area to help you find your site, help you to communicate with your on-site planner, to assist you in getting through the details/red tape, or to help you plan your wedding day or weekend activities.

Tying the knot in a far away location can be a beautiful experience and memory for everyone. If you are prepared for long distance planning—go for it!

Diamonds and Weddings Go Together

2007-02-06T10:17:00.000-08:00

Diamonds have always represented love, loyalty, eternity, and great friendship. The traditional engagement ring has always been a part of weddings and the options available are unlimited.

Once you and your fiancé have decided on that special date for your wedding you are ready to start thinking about diamonds and diamond jewelry. If you plan on surprising your fiancé with a proposal and offer her an engagement ring, you must be prepared before you start your shopping. You must first determine your fiancé’s style and the type of diamond jewelry she will prefer. Does she prefer a “flashy” style of diamond jewelry? Do you notice your fiancé wearing dangling earrings or diamond jewelry that stands out? If you do then you will be on the hunt for something more eye-catching. If you discover that your fiancé is more of a "low-key" diamond jewelry wearer then you should probably be on the hunt for something less conservative.

Many people today discover that it is much easier shopping for engagement rings together so it is not out of the ordinary to propose and pick out an engagement ring and wedding rings later. If you are persistent on a surprise proposal and do not have a good understanding of what type of diamond jewelry your fiancé likes then you can discuss the options with her friends and family. You might be surprised to find out that they know exactly what she wants because of conversations they’ve had about diamond jewelry.

Diamonds are not just for the bride and the groom anymore. Many couples are electing to purchase diamond jewelry for their bridesmaids as bridal party gifts. There is nothing that is more memorable than diamond jewelry and electing to give such a special gift to the bridesmaids will be a gift that will forever stick in their minds.

Sip Something Special: Wedding Cocktail Ideas

2007-01-18T19:02:00.000-08:00

Why not get your reception started with style, by offering your guests a fabulous specialty wedding cocktail? Here are a few ideas to get you started, with something for every taste and budget. If you are looking to conserve a few bucks on the bar bill but still want to serve up a little finesse, consider the following tips:

While providing a fancy signature drink may sound like a sure way to increase your liquor tab exponentially, it can actually have the opposite effect if you offer only your drink of choice, as well as wine, beer and Champagne in lieu of having an open bar.
Some of the following recipes are for Champagne cocktails instead of liquor drinks. This can prevent headaches for you and your guests, both figuratively and literally: Champagne is far less expensive than liquor, and also it packs less of a punch so there is a slightly better chance that your friends will behave themselves throughout the celebration…but don't count on it.
To save even more money but still offer tantalizing toasting fare, consider using sparkling wine, Cava (Spanish sparkling wine) or Prosecco (Italian sparkling wine). These generally cost less than Champagne, but are equally festive and delicious. I am speaking from extensive taste testing and subsequent empirical fun-measuring here…all done in the name of research, of course.
You can make any cocktail match your décor by rimming the glass with colored sugar. Who says you can't dress up a gin and tonic?

With those tidbits in mind, here are the recipes for a few delicious wedding cocktails. Cheers!

Wedding Belle Cocktail (This is a throwback to 1940's style cocktails…ideal if your wedding has a classic or retro theme.)

1 1/2 tsp orange juice
1 1/2 tsp cherry brandy
3/4 oz dry gin
3/4 oz Dubonnet

In a mixing glass, stir well with cracked ice. Strain into a cocktail glass.

Giddy Bridesmaid (This is a Wedding Punch, which is a great time-saver because it can be prepared ahead of time for a large group.)

750 ml extra-dry champagne
6 oz Cointreau or triple sec
6 oz orange juice
3 oz lime juice, unsweetened
4 oz brandy
1/2 cup sugar syrup
16 oz citrus-flavored club soda (optional)

Chill all ingredients. Dissolve sugar in orange juice. Combine everything except champagne and soda in large pitcher or bowl. Stir well. Add champagne and soda just before serving. Garnish with lemon, lime and orange slices.