I have been less than impressed by flower girl dresses lately. For the most part, good taste has done away with the "mini-bride" look, but I'm still seeing dresses that are too grown up looking for a little girl. I just can't get over the strapless flower girl dress I saw in one store. I even went so far as to write one shop about the lack of appropriate choices they had. They wrote back with fancy polite words that boiled down to, "We'll stop making them when people stop buying them". Always willing to do my part, I'd like to offer up alternatives. How about this incredible dress from Smashing Darling vendor Georgia Eve? The cameo color would blend in perfectly with just about any wedding palette. I love the detailing on the skirt and the satin slip. It was all made with fabrics from Paris (oooo!).
If you need more than one dress or one in a different size, don't give up. Keep looking at the independent sellers. There are unique dresses out there.
Here are a few quick tips for a little green wedding planning. They are pretty obvious, but sometimes simply overlooked.
1. Attend a bridal fair. At these fairs (or shows), you get to see a good number of vendors. You can talk to them face to face, ask questions, gather information, etc., meaning you save a little energy that you would otherwise be spending on your computer. (You’ll see lots of other fabulous uses your computer and the internet can play in planning in points 2-5.)
2. Collect as few brochures, hand outs, business cards (etc.) as possible. Help save those wonderful trees and just skip the photographer’s high gloss photo paper, three page hand out. A few minutes on the internet will likely give you the same information without using those resources.
3. Schedule appointments on the same day and in a smart logistical path. Instead of going to and from your house every time you have a vendor meeting, why not make a circle and get them all finished in one trip? Plus, you’ll use less gas which means more money for the wedding!
4. Do as much record keeping online or on your computer as possible. There is no need to print out your vendor contact list every time you add to it or discover a mistake. Just keep track with your computer!
5. Use your internet resources. Instead of rushing out and buying tons of books for ideas, tips, and inspiration, just look online! A favorite resource of ours? Wedding Blogs (of course!). But there are lots of other sites that can help track your information, give you ideas, and help you find what you’re looking for.
Best wishes in your green endeavors!
After you have chosen your wedding colors you can start looking into flowers. There are so many different types of flowers to choose from you have to know where to start.
A good place to start is incorporating all your colors you have chosen into the flowers you choose. For example my wedding colors are red, black, ivory and silver, so my flowers should include these colors. It is up to you if you want to have more or less of certain colors. I decided that I wanted the majority of my flowers red and ivory. I ruled out the color pink for flowers because I feel with the color scheme we are after pink would clash. The next thing I did was start to research flowers.
There are many way to research flowers you can look online at different flower designs, you can look in magazines and books, or you can even drive to the flower store, just to get an idea of what you like. I did all three of theses activities. First I looked online and made a folder of all my favorite flower looks, making note of the flowers and accessories they had used to create different looks. I found out which flowers came in red and ivory and chose all of my favorite ones. Then I looked in a couple flower magazines and books to get some ideas. After I had an idea of what I liked I went to the flower store to see them in real form.
I have not made any final decisions on flowers yet, but I have a pretty good idea of what I like. I hope this information helps you when you are starting your flower planning adventure!
I promise to Love, Honor and…huh? Some couples are finding that traditional wedding vows don’t accurately reflect their views about marriage or their feelings for their partner, so they are choosing to write their own. This is a wonderful way to personalize your ceremony, but it can also be an incredibly intimidating assignment. How do you begin to describe the depth of your feelings toward your beloved? My husband and I chose to write our entire wedding ceremony, including the vows, and even though I write for a living I found this undertaking particularly difficult. I have compiled a few suggestions that I hope will be helpful to those of you who have decided to tackle this challenging and immensely rewarding task.
Don’t procrastinate
Start working on your vows early, so you don’t feel rushed. You don’t want this to feel like just another wedding planning chore that stares stubbornly back at you from your ever-present “To-Do” list. This is the main substance of the ceremony, and it is the verbal declaration of what the two of you will bring to the marriage, and what you expect to get out of it. That being said, it’s always ok to bring a little levity to the situation if there’s something unique and personal that you want to add, that isn’t thoroughly mushy. Jennifer Aniston famously vowed to keep Brad Pitt in banana milkshakes for life…but this might not be the best example, since he decided that he preferred a different flavor after all.
Will it be an individual effort or a joint one?
Some brides and grooms love the idea of surprising each other on their wedding day with the vows they have written. Others want to work together so that they’re “on the same page” throughout the process. If you will write individually, you must decide if you will share your vows with one another before the big altar showdown. Some people (I was one of them) fear that saying and hearing the vows for the first time during your ceremony will cause such intense emotion that you might (gasp!) cry on your wedding day. Remember: It is a pretty momentous occasion, and it is absolutely ok to cry. Ladies, that’s what they make waterproof mascara for, and gentlemen, everyone loves it when the groom cries (awww). Some of us (my hand is raised here) seem to leak way more snot than tears when we weep, which is decidedly un-bridely, so we try to avoid scenarios where this will definitely happen in front of photographers. Whatever you decide, make sure you practice saying your own vows beforehand, ideally to another human being. It will get easier, and it will take a little bit of the edge off of your nerves. Know what else takes the edge off nicely before the ceremony? A tall glass of bubbly, wedding-day courage.
Lay down some ground rules
This is a good way to make sure that you’re starting on common ground, especially if you will be writing individually. For example, will you include any religious references in your vows? Will you follow the traditional (I, name, take you, name, to…you know the routine) format, or make it entirely unique? By getting the basics straight before you begin, you can make sure that neither of you is unpleasantly surprised by either the insertion or omission of something substantial.
Getting started…
Now that you’ve gotten ready to pour your heart out, how do you begin? Try thinking about the following questions: What are two or three of the most endearing qualities in your partner? When did you know that you were in love, or that you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together? How have you grown since being in the relationship? How do you see your partnership changing over time, and how will it stay the same? This brain food should help get some ideas onto the page, and also give those tear ducts a workout!
Keep it brief
If you think you might get nervous during delivery, you don’t want to be reciting a 30-minute monologue expounding the depth of your love. A minute is plenty – especially if your words pack a punch. Also, don’t be afraid to read from a written copy (have your officiant or an attendant hold it until it’s your turn to speak) of your vows. Trying to memorize them can further rattle your nerves, and it’s not necessary unless you feel really strongly about it. Finally, be sure to look at each other when you’re saying your vows. That’s who you wrote them for!
Don’t worry if you flub your lines
Seriously, this is no big deal if it happens during the big moment; you can go back and say the botched part again, or just keep going... the sentiment is the same. In some cases, it can create a memorable wedding moment! My parents wrote their own vows, and my dad is infamous among his friends and family for vowing to “compete with”, rather than “complete” my mom for the rest of their lives. He was so nervous at the time that he didn’t notice, and they’re still happily competing with one another after 35 years.
Hey brides and grooms, check it. Having your wedding covered in the New York Post is no longer limited to celebrity-nuptialites (don't bother looking that up in the dictionary). Even better, you don't need a Trump-sized wedding budget to let New York hear all about it. That's right, all it takes is a little creativity to spin your wedding details into something the readers of one of New York City's top dailies will gush over.
Seriously, the New York Post is looking for wedding details from local brides and grooms to print (for free) in its Sunday Edition. Whether you are getting married, or have just returned from your honeymoon, you don't need to be a modern day Woodward or Bernstein to get your story splashed in newsprint (though I'm pretty sure neither ever wrote wedding columns). Just submit whatever pertinent information you wish to share to the Post and, if space is available, a reporter will contact you to help put the final touches on your submission.
What have you got to lose? Unless there's a reason you are hiding from the general public, what better way to generate some buzz than having a little write-up in the Post. Who knows, maybe your submission will spawn some sort of new über-trend in weddings! Oh, and think about what Mom will say!
For more information, visit http://www.nypost.com/entertainment/weddings
or call (212) 930-8022.
If you like the idea of getting lei’d at the beginning of your wedding ceremony, then a Hawaiian wedding may be right up your alley! Aside from providing infinite opportunities to make punny references to the word “lei,” there are many wonderful reasons to incorporate Hawaiian wedding customs into your ceremony, whether you’re getting married on the beach in Maui or in a Presbyterian church in Cleveland. Central to the Hawaiian culture is theAloha Spirit, which can be loosely defined as a commitment to treat oneself and others with kindness, respect and love.
After having lived in the Hawaiian Islands for some time, I can tell you that the Hawaiian people as a whole truly embody these sentiments, which makes the islands a magical and romantic place to celebrate your love. The pristine beaches and awe-inspiring sunsets don’t hurt, either, but the price tag can be hefty. (That’s why I got married in Montana, land of the discount all-you-can-eat meat lovers wedding buffet. “If it had a face it will be on your plate” is the state motto, I think.) But I digress.
Here is a quick guide to some traditional Hawaiian wedding customs that will lend meaning and originality to your ceremony:
Flowers
The traditional Hawaiian flower lei, signifies love and respect. They are worn by the bride and groom as well as members of the wedding party. Usually there is a lei exchange between bride and groom at the beginning of the ceremony, along with an explanation of its significance. Like a wedding ring, the lei is an unbroken circle that represents your eternal commitment and devotion to one another. The beauty of each individual flower is not lost when it becomes a part of the lei, but is enhanced because of the strength of its bond. Additionally, the bride often wears a garland of flowers in her hair, rather than a veil.
Attire
In traditional Hawaiian weddings, both the bride and groom wear all white, and the groom wears a colored sash around his waist. It is also common these days for the groom and groomsmen to wear aloha shirts with light colored pants; while this is not traditional protocol, it is certainly acceptable and festive island attire. Let’s not lean too far in the vacation-wear direction, though: Ladies, while island style is casual, I recommend waiting at least until the reception gets going to don the coconut bras and grass skirts.
Music
The Hawaiian Wedding Song, Ke Kali Nei Au, is usually played during the ceremony, although it would work nicely as the first dance at your reception as well. It was originally written in Hawaiian in1926 by Charles King, and has been translated into English and covered by several artists; most notably Elvis Presley in the movie, Blue Hawaii.
Rings & Rings Blessing
Native to the Big Island of Hawaii, the Koa wood and Ti leaf ring blessing has a lovely meaning, and is beautiful in its simplicity. Koa is a treasured and valuable hardwood that represents integrity and strength, which are foundational qualities of a marriage. The Ti leaf represents prosperity, health and blessing of body, mind and spirit. The officiant begins by dipping a Koa wood bowl into a body of water. The leaf is dipped into the bowl, and the water is sprinkled three times over the rings while the following chant is recited: “Ei-Ah Eha-No. Ka Malohia Oh-Na-Lani. Mea A-Ku A-Pau,” means: “May peace from above rest upon you and remain with you now and forever.”
The water signifies two things: First, washing back into the ocean, symbolically, any hindrance to your relationship. Secondly, it represents a brand new beginning as husband and wife.
Ti Leaf and Lava Rock Ceremony
This is another significant and beautiful part of the traditional Hawaiian wedding. The lava rock is symbolic of the moment you made a lifetime commitment to one another. It is wrapped in a Ti leaf and left at the ceremony cite as an offering, prayer and blessing which remains steadfast at the place of your marriage, marking the birth of your union, while your rings are a symbol of that commitment that travel with you wherever you go.
Remembering Deceased Family Members
When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we had trouble figuring out how best to honor the memory of family members who were no longer with us. I think that this is a lovely, and subtle, way to pay tribute. The Hawaiians contend that when the wind stirs at a wedding, it is the presence of their Ohana (family) who are physically absent but surround you at this moment with their love, support and blessing. This draws attention to the dearly departed with its explanation, and can serve as a pleasant and casual reminder throughout the ceremony. This method is most prudent if you’re having an outdoor ceremony or using a temperamental fan.
The Aloha Spirit essentially begins from within, and is one tradition that can be captured whether your special day is going to take place in Hawaii or on the mainland.
Having been to as many weddings as I have, there is nothing that pains me more than spotting Mr. Shy Guy Groom. What is most unfortunate is the outward perception a groom's shyness can give to the guests. I know I have been guilty of thinking, "Jeez, poor fella, here's supposed to be the happiest day of his life and he looks like he's shopping for bras the day after Thanksgiving."
Come on, come clean, some of you brides-to-be out there are marrying this type of elusive creature - the anti-social soul mate. Don't get me wrong; shyness can be a very endearing trait. Many of us would be blessed to have the ability to dial down our personalities (guilty) every now and then. It's just that in talking with brides, I always get a lot of comments and questions concerning how to get their man to break out of his silent shell - especially during the wedding reception. I usually have three tried and true tips that I share with them, and I'm very happy to pass these along to you:
1. Introductions
How often have you and your fiancée been in a social setting and you find yourself merrily chatting away to some old friend or relative, only to find that your significant other has sulked away to some corner of the room, pretending to look extremely interested in the floral pattern of some god-awful wallpaper? Try this next time: INTRODUCE HIM - make his name the first words out of your mouth. One of the extremely painful side effects of shyness is the complete inability to tell some stranger your name. I can almost guaranty that if you take the time at your wedding - or more likely your wedding reception - to introduce your hubby to all of those strange relatives on your mother's side, Mr. Right will do no wrong.
2. Space
Do yourself and your future husband a favor. Under no circumstances ask him "Are you O.K.? Why aren't you talking to anybody?" You'll only end up compounding his shyness. Instead, you'll be better served by just giving him a hug, or better yet, a nice random kiss. Give him a little hint of what's to come later in the night . . .and say goodbye Mr. Shy Guy.
3. Spirits
No, I’m not talking about conjuring up Casper to help your groom navigate the social waters of your wedding events. Thus is a much simpler, albeit, tricky tip - and most certainly not a politically correct one - but it does work. If hubby refuses to come out of his shell, you may have to resort to more drastic measures. Getting a few belts of whiskey in him could unleash his inner gregarious self. The only thing you want to stay away from is giving your man too much to drink - instead of Mr. Shy Guy, you are liable to end up with Mr. I Just Puked On Your Father-In-Law's Trousers. Makes for a good story ten years down the line . . . but that's about it.
So, there ya' go, hopefully a couple of quick tips to help you (and your groom) have the best wedding experience as possible.
