The Shy Guy Syndrome

Having been to as many weddings as I have, there is nothing that pains me more than spotting Mr. Shy Guy Groom. What is most unfortunate is the outward perception a groom's shyness can give to the guests. I know I have been guilty of thinking, "Jeez, poor fella, here's supposed to be the happiest day of his life and he looks like he's shopping for bras the day after Thanksgiving."

Come on, come clean, some of you brides-to-be out there are marrying this type of elusive creature - the anti-social soul mate. Don't get me wrong; shyness can be a very endearing trait. Many of us would be blessed to have the ability to dial down our personalities (guilty) every now and then. It's just that in talking with brides, I always get a lot of comments and questions concerning how to get their man to break out of his silent shell - especially during the wedding reception. I usually have three tried and true tips that I share with them, and I'm very happy to pass these along to you:

1. Introductions

How often have you and your fiancée been in a social setting and you find yourself merrily chatting away to some old friend or relative, only to find that your significant other has sulked away to some corner of the room, pretending to look extremely interested in the floral pattern of some god-awful wallpaper? Try this next time: INTRODUCE HIM - make his name the first words out of your mouth. One of the extremely painful side effects of shyness is the complete inability to tell some stranger your name. I can almost guaranty that if you take the time at your wedding - or more likely your wedding reception - to introduce your hubby to all of those strange relatives on your mother's side, Mr. Right will do no wrong.

2. Space

Do yourself and your future husband a favor. Under no circumstances ask him "Are you O.K.? Why aren't you talking to anybody?" You'll only end up compounding his shyness. Instead, you'll be better served by just giving him a hug, or better yet, a nice random kiss. Give him a little hint of what's to come later in the night . . .and say goodbye Mr. Shy Guy.

3. Spirits

No, I’m not talking about conjuring up Casper to help your groom navigate the social waters of your wedding events. Thus is a much simpler, albeit, tricky tip - and most certainly not a politically correct one - but it does work. If hubby refuses to come out of his shell, you may have to resort to more drastic measures. Getting a few belts of whiskey in him could unleash his inner gregarious self. The only thing you want to stay away from is giving your man too much to drink - instead of Mr. Shy Guy, you are liable to end up with Mr. I Just Puked On Your Father-In-Law's Trousers. Makes for a good story ten years down the line . . . but that's about it.

So, there ya' go, hopefully a couple of quick tips to help you (and your groom) have the best wedding experience as possible.